Thoughts

Wow where do I begin? If you know me very well you know that my life is ever "evolving". In May my life changed once again. My husband lost his job. There is so much more that goes into it, but suffice to say that while it was hard I knew that it was a chance for us to "start over" again. I came into this marriage very much broken and badly bruised. The Lord healed me not once but twice. My husband stood by me through that time. It was hard for him, but he never left me. And not only did he not leave but he supported me, with all the nightmares, the therapy, the endless hours of crying and confusion. He never put me down, never said one negative remark to me about anything that I endured or how I handled it. During the past couple of years the Lord would often tell me that there would come a hard time for Raym, and he asked if I would stand by him. Of course. Well the hard time came, and it has been really hard. But I did as I promised. My husband had developed some not so great coping skills while helping me through my trials. I didn't even know they existed, but all the cards are on the table and we are organizing and going through them TOGETHER. If our marriage made it through me, we can so make it through some not so great coping skills. We have grown so much together these past couple of months. My marriage is becoming so rooted, so deep. I have gained such a testimony of what it is to mourn with those that mourn. I love my husband so much, I am so grateful for his humility for his willingness to hear and his willingness to try to change.



We have a new job now. He is a sales consultant for Home Depot. It is a commissioned job, not one we would have ever thought we would have. We prayed though and the Lord told us it was right. We don't have to move which really is such a great blessing. I wish I could describe what my heart sees. I know that the Lord will take these "not so great things" and turn them around and make them a blessing unto us. My husband stood beside me through things that I know not many men could have endured, and I know that Lord knows it. I see the light of the Lord in my husbands eyes in a way that encourages and uplifts me.



I have a testimony of growth and change. The Lord does not condemn us. We do that enough on a daily basis. It isn't about being perfect it is about growing, reaching and trying. We are mortal so we will not be "perfect". But we can perfect our desires, our thoughts, and with time our actions. This life is about the moments, and what we take away from those moments. We have an opportunity to take something momentary and make it eternal. I am thankful for a perfectly patient Heavenly Father and my Savior who made it possible for change.