I feel happy today. I feel hopeful. I think I could even say I feel excited about life. I know these feelings are a blessing from my Heavenly Father. I am going to need more of this in the months and even weeks to come.

Ray will be gone two to three weeks of every month until he leaves next July starting next month. He has been my greatest strength and stability during this pregnancy. He will only be gone for 12 days in December but at 8 months prego 12 days can feel like 12 months. The Lord has promised me help and I believe him.

That help may or may not be in the form of a person. He could provide me yet another miracle in my life where I have the energy and ability necessary to care for my children during that time. Or he could bless my children to be able to better help me and bless our lives that the time goes quickly and we don't feel the burden of having Ray gone. How the help comes does not matter to me I just look forward to once again seeing the hand of the Lord in my life.

I feel peaceful about Ray being gone so much. The Lord has said in one of my blessings that these trainings and Ray's deployment are the means to our relief from this financial distress. I have to trust that. Although it is hard for me to see exactly how all this will work together for our good I know that the Lord does not lie. He blessed me and carried me while Ray was gone last year, and I grew spiritually. I know the same can happen again this time. He will bless me and I will learn incredible wonderful things.

I don't think it will all be a cake walk and I know that there will be lots of moments where my heart will ache and I will long for comfort and relief from it all and to have my husband with me more. I also know though that it is in those moments when I will feel my Savior's love more strongly than any others. I know that it is in those moments when my testimony is refined and I grow.

I am not afraid of what is ahead because I know my Heavenly Father and my Savior will be there with me every step of the way. I am not afraid of what I don't know about when my baby will come, or where or when we will move because I know that the Lord already knows and when it is time I will know too. I am not afraid to hurt because in hurting I grow closer to my Heavenly Father because he is who I can turn to. I am not afraid of anything hard this mortal life might present to me because Jesus is the Christ and in Him I find my peace.