Thoughts on love

How do you love? How do you love others?

When I was growing up my Mom told people how awful I was as a teenager. I am not sure the exact things she told them but I know she said them, I would be approached with "your mom was saying...", and sometimes I was lucky enough to hear her say it in front of me. The adults that knew me especially in church saw me through her eyes and never stopped to ask or find out what was really going on. I wasn't an angel by any means but I was no heathen or true "rebellious" child. In fact I didn't really do anything that every other teenager didn't do in our little town, so actually I was probably 'normal'. But something about how my mother portrayed me to so many affected how they saw me and how they ultimately "loved" me. Or at least I felt that way because of the way they treated me and how they talked to me. Fast forward to my time in Utah. I became inactive shortly after moving to Salt Lake in 1997. I had been active in Texas. I do remember having the feeling I wasn't missed at church. I found security in other things, worldly things. I got off track, but I never stopped praying, no matter how far off track I got. But no one came looking for me. Not until I moved to Orem in 1998. I lived alone in an apartment on Main Street and 8th North. Not too long after moving there this lady came knockin' at my door. She introduced herself as Chris Marshall, the relief society president. My first thought..."I am not your charity project" " I will not be a number you can check of your list". I wasn't real nice to her. Save the single lady going down the devil's path, I thought. I almost became determined to not go back because for me it was not about you, I was going to come back when I was ready. She came every month, sometimes twice in one month. Just to say hi. Sometimes she would bring bread, or some kind of treat. I moved from that aparment in September 1999. I think I went to church once maybe twice when living there. When I moved a relationship I had been for two years ended. The moving and the break up opened up an opportunity to get back to church. I went back because I wanted to. I wanted to change. No one noticed I was new, but it didn't matter to me because I wasn't there for them. I met Ray at some point during this transition and the rest is history.

My point in telling you this is today I was thinking about the stories I have been hearing while I have been here, and the things I have seen with my own eyes. If you had met me on my road of life so far off course how would you have loved me? Would you visit me every month faithfully whether I was nice to you or not, and whether or not I did ever show up at church? Would I be your charity project? Would you know if I stopped coming to church? Would you let me go b/c there were more obvious feel good moments of service to be a part of? What if I smoked? drank? lived with someone and was not married? what if I had a tattoo? what if I was every thing you never wanted to be in manner of speach, dress, and actions? would you avoid me for fear that some how your association with me would taint your precious reputation? You...those who are reading this now...didn't know me then...you don't know if I might have been some, none, or all of these things I have proposed in these in questions...yet you love me. But would you have loved me the same way then? Would you have sought me out? Those of you who helped me in Boston during that year after baby Ray was born when I was in and out of hospitals. Would you have been that kind of friend if I wasn't going to church, or didn't meet your standards of worthiness?

I am who I am because of my Savior Jesus Christ. But he loved me through people. Through people like Chris Marshall and others. Those people loved me when I was probably the most unlovable, most irresponsible. They the loved the part of me that could be.

We live in a time a convenience. Life is relatively easy if you think of it. We have our nice pretty comfort zones. Comfort zones aren't all bad. But there is one I challenge you to come out of. There is some one out there that needs your unconditional Christ like love, and it probably is the person you would least expect that you would have anything ever to do with. Ask the Lord with real sincerity, with a real willingness to be led to that person who just needs your Christ like love. They may already be at church, they might belong to a different church and maybe not to one at all. Don't make it about baptism, or conversion, or even a project. Make it about love. Love them with all your heart the way the Lord would if he was standing in your place. I don't believe our actions have to be grand or even noticeable to the naked eye, they just have to be sincere. That is when a life is changed. When you listen because you want to care. When you hug because you want them to feel the warmth of a good hug. When you give because you really have no thought of reward. I know so many of you do this already, but I am asking you to do more. We have to. Once you feel like you are doing good, then you gotta reach a little higher. There are so many out there that need to feel the love of our Savior. He reaches them through us.