Could it be?

So you are aware of my 'success' if you will at losing weight. I have about 15-20 lbs more to go...and that isn't me being too ideal...really I need to lose that weight to be any where near the healthy range. Any whoo. I have been wanting another baby for quite some time now...honestly probably since last February. I could feel his spirit..yes his. On the day Ray lost his job I found out my sister in law was pregnant. Another friend got pregnant around then as well. And then another one and so on. Earlier this month I had resolved to wait. I was doing great on weight loss and I conceded that why not just lose the rest of it, then get pregnant. Hopefully after losing all the weight I would be even more self disciplined and be able to gain only a little weight with a pregnancy. So last Thursday after all the Thanksgiving eating and all I got sick...well diarrhea. I felt so bad for Rach who was here in my home with her 3 kids. I told her I was sorry if her kids got sick. Since that day I have diarrhea and vomitting everyday including today. Monday night I knew something was up. My period was due last week and hadn't showed up. Of course the one month I am looking for it instead of praying for it not to. So I told Ray my feelings. He shared with my all the reasons why it couldn't be possible. Which were actually all the reasons it would be possible. I cried that night in prayer. I told the Lord that if I was pregnant then I had to pass that test and if not then I needed to start my period. You see my track record with pg test is not the greatest. Usually I am about 6-7 weeks along before I test positive. But I did not have the emotional energy to wait that long this time. That night especially I felt drained of any desire to endure any drama. So at 6:30AM Tuesday morning Ray went to Wal-Mart to buy me a test...isn't he great :) he bought a three pack b/c of my track record :) I take the test, truly expecting a negative to show up.........................but it didn't.....and not only was it positve...I don't know that I have ever seen one of my pregnancy test be THAT positive. It is funny though....I never imagined I would be where I am today. Could it be? Could I really be pregnant? I truly had moved on in my mind...I wasn't expecting this until sometime next spring. And yet here we are. Bring it on though. I love having babies. I love being a mom. I know this is my last pregnancy, the Lord has told me that much. But I also know that this is not the end to us bringing kids into our home. But I will enjoy this pregnancy to its fullest. And absorb as much as I can from each moment, including the ones that envolve the white throne :)