It is okay to ask questions, to wonder which direction the Lord would have you go. I have been doing that my whole life. But this faith that I am learning about is different. Ray gave me a blesssing in which the Lord told me that right now the only thing he wants me to DO is be patient. There are more times than not that our faith is exercised by our actions. When you pray for a job you actively look for a job. When you pray for good health, you eat healthy and take care of your body with exercise and proper rest. Ray and I have done everything we possibly can. This is now about endurance, about completely letting go and finding complete peace in knowing nothing. He isn't going to tell us when or how.

There is a story from the scriptures that I learn from over and over and over about peace. Remember when the Savior was on the boat asleep and the storm came? The apostles were nervous about the storm and the fact that the One who could stop the storm was sleeping right through it.

The Savior was tired from all that he had been doing, but he was also at complete peace with the storm. He did not fear the raging waters and fierce winds, he was at peace with them.

Have we made peace with our storms? Are we at peace in the thick of it all? Or are we in hurry to calm the waters and the winds?

The body literally craves being comfortable. Think about our behaviors when we are hungry or tired. We often act selfishly trying to satisfy these needs. Our minds are the same. We "need" our finances to be dependable, or to know how things are going to work out. We long to have our emotional ducks in a row.

The Lord is trying to teach Ray and I that ultimately the spirit rules the flesh. Though my desire to be self sufficient is righteous, the eternal lesson I am learning here is more important. The Lord will bless us with a job. Right now he is asking me to overcome the need to know, to have complete faith in something I can not see at all. To calm the natural man in my mind that craves mortal control. My needs have always been met these past two and half years, and the Lord will continue to meet them. I have to learn how to let go completely. No questions, just perfect faith in Him.