A new beginning

Good morning! Good day!! Today our life begins anew. My husband of ten years starts his new job today. I feel hopeful. It felt so freeing to post about my mom yesterday. It felt like I had set free all that I was holding in. I slept wonderful. I woke up happy and ready for this new chapter. This new job is a commissioned job with a base pay. Translation we actually won't be making any more money than we have with his part-time jobs at first, but I have full faith that the Lord will bless us in time. Again if we can be patient with his timing and if we are willing to work for those blessings he will bless my husband's efforts and make them fruitful. I know our Heavenly Father and Savior want us to succeed.

I feel light and I feel free. I feel the burden of our two year trial being lifted. It is interesting to note that though we are beginning a new chapter I know I will actually have to work harder now to feel the spirit and to receive inspiration. The Lord revealed that to me yesterday at church. I would like to compare it to working out. When working out especially when you haven't for awhile it is hard. The same is true when you begin a new work out. Your muscles are fatigued, you hurt, you really have to give it effort. In time your muscles adapt and you even become stronger, the work out no longer has the same affects on your body. Spirituality is the same. Trials are work outs. Eventually during a trial you become strong enough to bare it, you even find peace and joy during it. Then the Lord in his wisdom either removes it or takes in you in a new direction. When a trial is removed it is like a work out shift, the load is lighter, life is easier to bare. To challenge your spiritual muscles you have to work harder to grow. You don't have that heavy weight giving you the necessary resistance. There is never a time where you can kick back and relax in preparing to meet your Savior. I look at this time of transition as opportunity to show him I am loyal. That I during a time when I don't feel desperate or lonely that I will seek him out always. That I will put him first in everything everyday.

I can not express enough the peace I have felt since my post yesterday. I have had new insights and realizations about me. I feel free to "move about the cabin" if you will. I feel this is an exciting time in my life. I can define myself now. Do I care if I have dishes in my sink? When do I want to clean? What goals do I want to set? What do I like? Simple questions maybe but like I said for so long my answers to these questions and so many others have depended on what approval I would receive from others. You see I projected my mother's disapproval on to other people. I wanted others to like me because I had been waiting for my mother to like me. I am okay now if you don't like me. I realize that I don't have to wait for her approval or anyone else's to feel comfortable to be me.

Is my journey already done? No. I believe this is just the beginning. I know that the Lord has so much more to teach me about myself and how to move forward with out my family. I know that everyday I will feel stronger and more at peace. I know that the peace I feel today is a gift from him. I know that my husband's job is a blessing directly from the Lord. We did not seek this job out. My husband was called and asked to send in his resume. For me it is a sign that the tide is changing and the Lord is taking us in a new direction. So beautiful, the way the Lord works in our lives.